In Paradisum (Will be deleted)
by raisuu
Summary: Mother once told us; not long ago we weren't the only people who lived here on earth. Not long ago, father was present and would have been with us. Not long ago, we would have been a happy family- but that will all change.
1. Chapter 1

_Clair de Lune._

My mother once told me, she could hear nothing more but the music when she was giving birth to me.

The symphony she heard when she hardly saw what went on before her eyes. The lullaby that played the moment she forgot how to breathe, when she long abandoned the thought of concentrating in pushing. Everything was going so fast, so blurry, so painful. Her heart was racing fifty miles per hour and her chest heaved like the air was as heavy as gravity. By then, she was slipping away from consciousness and her eyelids weighed like boulders. The soft tunes eased her wrecking nerves. It chased away her fears, it made her feel safe. She wanted nothing more than to be embraced by the comfort of slumber and be lulled by the music - this certain music - and it gave her just what she wanted.

She fell asleep while I was left to struggle my way out into this world.

She told me she fell in love the first time she saw me. A babe she has given life into this world - without sin, without problems, without worries. Without knowledge of how life can be so difficult to live. She held me in her arms and kept me close to her full bosom, whispering gentle words to my ears - how she would love me, how she would protect me. I cannot remember this moment of course, nor did the place where I was born, what happened during labour.

I have asked her multiple times but she has declined to answer multiple times as well – only telling me what's important was that I lived.

And that was all she ever told.

My sister was born in the winter. Mother said she almost died when her water broke and my sister decided to come out unannounced. I was barely a year old when she was delivered- in the forest. I asked her over and over why we were there but her only reply was that we were out for a walk, with me on her back when it happened. I didn't believe her -

But that was all she ever told.

In this desolate place we continued to walk. Fragments of broken shards have scattered like grass on the ground and the unsettled dust danced and scattered into the air. Mother always comes here for years in secret before, sneaking out dead in the night with nothing but her cloak and a book. She did so when she thought we had fallen asleep, but she has thought wrong. I would wait for her return without a bout of her knowledge and I've kept it a secret since. Every time she was away, I would try and practice in picking up her aura, her emotions, her location, her thoughts, anything that has to do about her – but even until now I could not do it. I do not know how to do it or what I should do, but I knew even in my early years that I can and that I possess the same powers my Mother has been so desperately trying to hide. She may not tell me by the fear of something, something she can only know of but with such powers as hers, even a normal person would sense her might, what more so if it was her son. She is a strong being to behold and to avoid altogether. And I know that with her guidance and teaching, I too can become like her.

Yet I do not ask her questions anymore.

For as mysterious as she is and her actions are, no harm has been ever brought to us since I can remember. She was always with us when needed be. Always careful in answering us whenever we had questions. She loves us and we love her- and that's what we all need to know.

I used to ask her a lot of questions, she perhaps have mastered the arts of deflection for I have never truly understood the answers.

When I was 8 years younger, I asked her what she thought about these people called heroes. We were exploring the ruins that day, in search for warmer clothes and cozier beds to sleep on. I noticed a crumpled paper with most of its edges torn, some words illegible, laying on the ground as we passed by the destroyed towering houses. An urgent need for gifted humans who can watch over the city. People who protect the citizens, those who can become the best version of themselves. They were called heroes.

Mother went ahead with my sister on her back as I lagged behind to read the paper under all the rubble.

 _Heroes_ , it said. I wondered what it meant.

I ran after her and told her what I read. Mother may be as secretive and as conservative as she is, but she did not deny us the right to read and write. She taught us about the letters, numbers and certain languages humans used to speak when they were still present. What berries were safe to eat, how to locate clean flowing water, what animals to avoid. Anything that is essential for survival. _Anything_ that has nothing to do about her past and our present condition.

She came into a halt and looked at me, her eyes delving deep into mine. I didn't know what she was thinking. Her face displayed no expression but her eyes; they conveyed great turmoil of emotions. After almost about minute, she slowly directed her gaze to the trees and frowned; her eyes instantly blank and insipid.

Every emotion that passed through her face remained undeciphered. Silence was the only answer she offered, as she dropped the subject like it meant nothing.

Two years later, I showed her a tattered thin book covered with dust and cement; happily flipping through the pages, showing her what I have discovered. Moments later, her nonchalance turned to rage after seeing the contents. She disposed it as soon as I showed it to her. She made me promise to stay away from the items that lay around the ruins and from the ruins in general, unless supervised or with company. I remember crying after she left me in disappointment and confusion. Back then I thought my feelings were justified. How selfish and inconsiderate mother was, getting angry over a half destroyed pictured book. Why she was angry, no thoughts came to me but I knew that anger wasn't the only emotion she felt when she ripped the book apart.

"What are you thinking about brother?"

My sister asked with ample curiosity in her voice. Her head tilted as she put her arms behind her.

"It's nothing." I answered blankly.

"Come on, you can tell me, mother isn't here." she said with a quiver of mischief. I smiled as I looked back at her, pocketing my cold hands inside my pockets. "Even if mother can or cannot hear it, it does not concern her or you." A lie of course, but it was better to lie than to tell his sister about what he really thinks. What sort of mysteries their mother has failed to tell them and what dangers it would bring. How he feels towards these secrets should be only kept to himself, until he deems fit the time should come and she must know about it all.

Deep inside, he felt that his sister knew about their mother... their heritage not being _normal_. He read enough pictured books to know so.

His sister can be so easy to read sometimes, or rather most of the time. But she chooses to only talk about her hunts and the discoveries she's made in the forest.

He adored his sister for she was the only friend he ever had. She was as beautiful as their mother but not as lively and as courageous as she is. His sister liked the forest and the creatures that lived there. She always made sure that everything and everyone was in order. She would plant hydrangeas flowers within the barren meadows of the forest and would make animal houses for rodents and birds that lived in and on the trees. By the cliff not very far from the forest, she built a tree house that would overview the ruins, most of the forest and the long great river, where she would spend most of her time cultivating herbs and plants for food and medicine. She played with the friendly critters that visit her humble garden and danced with the fiery creatures she has crossed paths with. She was by far, the most happy and loving person he knew; but after all, there were only 3 people who lived around the place.

"Liar."

We continued to trek the path we were walking. My sister was the only luminescent thing that can be seen in the bleak area. Everything that was visible can either be burned or wrecked. The air was not so fresh and longer exposure would bring discomfort to your lungs.

Depressing, gloomy, morbid.

Tall houses with plenty of windows used to exist here. Bright colourful lights shine at night and steamed horses were on the road as well as long fast animals that used transport humans from places to places. Mother never told us anything about these but I knew about it after I read a book from a room full of pictured books. Little plastic figures were encased in transparent glasses and unique masks and clothes were scattered on the floor. Mother once told us about a place where people strengthen their mind and ideas, a place called library. A place where all the great men and women's achievements were recorded and stored for generations to safe keep.

I have discovered a library and my heart raced in excitement. But mother never mentioned that the books would be so picturestique and...colourful. Action packed too! Good thing I did not tell her about the place while I was showing her the book or else she would have restricted me in going so ever again.

As I recalled, I came in contact with one of the lengthy beast in the ruins years ago. It was up above the ground, within the floating road. All my years I have never seen anything so...robust and rigid. and I felt its majestic power even as it laid dormant. One of its eye was gone and its tail, cut. Mother always said to not to go near anything that makes your heart race and palms sweat. A place that would give you the sense of confinement and impending danger. I felt all of these the moment I decided to climb to its location, but I cannot miss such opportunity - meeting a being from the past.

I steadied my heart, afraid the enormous beast would overhear the pounding as I made my way towards it. It was covered in soot and bruises as I examined it closer. It had red streaks besides its body, the rest of it composed of square hollows like windows in houses with broken shards of glass attached to its frame. There were bright red chairs within the beast as well.

Meekly, I greeted the proud beast and made my intentions known as soon as I came next to its blunt nose.

Nothing.

It did not perceive my presence, or perhaps I was too unworthy to be acknowledged. I turned to fully face the beast, my knees almost bucking as I stared straight into its eyes.

But I was welcomed by nothing.

No life was found from the bulky giant. The beast was as dead as the ruins.

My hand insensibly extended to touch it, dismayed and relieved at the same time it was dead. It was cold. Cold and dead. It was now merely the shell of what it once was, like this place. _Like his mother._

"Am not."

I continued to smile behind my mask as I answered. We were still in the vicinity of the ruins. The dust and the stench still very evident even as we began to see the forest. The sun was beginning to paint the skies warm hues of colours and the birds began to retire to their trees. She stifled a laugh as she moved her hands behind her head.

"You know, I dreamed about what you showed me yesterday."

"What about?" I replied, a curious look etched on my face. "I showed you many things yesterday."

"Well about that very big fish with sharp teeth and a pointed nose." She mused, wildly waving her hands as she described the toothy creature. Even with a mask on her face, he can clearly see the expression his sister was executing.

"Oh, you mean the shark?" I asked vapidly, feeling the cold chills of the forest blowing my forehead.

"Yes that!" she gleefully confirmed, her eyes full of wonder and curiosity. "I dreamt that I was talking to a shark and that I played with him all day long deep down the blue blue ocean." She recalled with her eyes closed, her hands on her cheeks.

"As I recalled from the book, humans don't usually play with sharks due to their predatory nature but rather with dolphins."

We finally reached the end of the ruins and removed our thick masks from our noses. Cold fresh air greeted us and we hastily inhaled the rather more favourable scent of the earth.

She seemed to be in deep thought as I continued to fill her with information about the difference and characteristics of sharks and dolphins. She often thinks about the tiniest details and exaggerates their value. Feeling the cold breeze blow harder, she sighed a warm wisp of air then proceeded to wear her hood up and adjusted her scarf close to her neck. After my little trivia, she began to pout, folding her hands over her chest.

"Perhaps they are just misunderstood. Perhaps humans didn't get to know them better that's why they preferred the friendly dolphins."

I have always wondered the possibilities of going to the ocean when I was younger but the circumstances beg to differ. I shrugged as I continued to listen.

"Oh, if I were to meet a shark, I would surely gladly make it my friend then we could hang out all day!"

Sighing, I looked at her positively gleaming eyes. Sometimes her ideas become too wild to even grasp its sense that I've started to just let it pass. She radiated of hope and excitement. Happy traits that I have always envied. To have the ability to be so transparent- to display your emotions easily without fear of judgement or repercussions. If only I were half as daring as her, I would have asked mother to teach me how to use my gifts.

"But you need to be able to breathe underwater so you can hang out with it _all day_."

"I'll be on the shore, no problem-o! Then we'll spend the day together." She chided, pointing her index finger at me as she winked.

"Sharks cannot swim that shallow."

"Ehhh. Then I'll use my magic to find a way so we can hang."

I froze on my spot as she continued to stride. Surely this must be one of her mindless rants, right? But the possibility of her knowing about their unique... _traits_ \- Does this confirm the suspicions he's held?

Silence engulfed us when she noticed I was not following her anymore. She stopped in her tracks and walked back towards me. Her breathing was audible now, heaving her chest up and down as her eyes pierced through mine. Intent and pressing, prying for my unspoken answers and secluded thoughts; rummaging through my head. Dazed with her confession, all I could do was to look back; dozens of emotions ruling over my senses.

Then a burst of laughter echoed throughout the silence of the forest.

"Got you!"

"A-a joke?"

I almost stuttered.

She moved further, still laughing. "Yeah dummy! As if I have such totally awesome powers to do that."

I was about to retort but I found myself unable to talk back. My mouth only opened and closed, anxiously staring at my giggling sister. No idea where she can get the inspiration to be so…silly.

Sighing, once again, I distractedly set down the basket behind my back, full of fishes that I caught from the river. How old does his sister think she is? He could never blame his sister for being so light and care free though, after all, as far as characteristics and attitudes are concerned, they were leagues apart.

I brushed of my bangs away from my face, proceeded to pull out my cloak from my worn out satchel and wore it as my sister mirrored my action. Autumn was almost over. Most of the trees have finished stripping away all their leaves and the biting cold air has become harsher and earlier before dark.

"Brother?"

"Yes?"

She resumed walking, this time without her usual giddy enthusiasm, looking up the purple streaks in the sky.

"Do you ever wonder why we're the only ones living here? Why mother wants us home before a star becomes visible in the sky and the skies turn dark? She questioned nonchalantly all while becoming serious.

"Why she won't tell us what happened to the ruins or why we must always cont…" Her words died in her throat, the rest of the sentence trailed off before she could utter another word as she realized that the sun had completely set. It was time to run home- and time was essential.

We started running uphill. For many years we have feared the setting of the sun, not fully knowing the reason why. The cave was in view and in a few hundred meters we would make it home.

They arrived just in time the Venus appeared up in the sky and the nocturnal birds chirped with life. Their bodies acknowledged the change in temperature and they stripped off their cloaks. They scanned the room, expecting to see a very distressed mother, waiting for their arrival, but to their surprise, no one was at home. They started putting the lights on, making a bonfire at the centre of their cave. When the fire was steady and alive, they spiked the fishes they have caught and cooked it in the open fire, sitting in front of it in silence.

"Brother?"

"Yes?" I replied. Her voice in-depth, offbeat.

"What do you think Father would be like if he was with us?"

 _Silence._

"I-I…don't know." I said so.

We were silent once more. Not really comfortable in talking about such sensitive topics. The lack of one parental figure always, _always_ left her vulnerable. Her face did not portray much for she stared blankly at the fire but her voice sounded so vulnerable, so full of… longing. In shame I attempted to read her emotions, invading her privacy, her space. But in vain I have failed, again.

"Do you think he likes fish too?" she asked blankly, hugging both her knees, her eyes glued to the fire burning the flimsy skin of the fish.

"Maybe." I replied in almost a whisper.

She smiled to herself and picked a stick that somehow drifted inside the cave.

"Mother said he was kind to all and saw the good in everything." She added as she poked the half-cooked fish's eye, piercing it and allowing its gooey gel-like fluid to drip.

Only the crackling of the burning firewood can be heard reverberating within the walls. I stayed silent as she proceeded to draw a stick figure on the ground using the same stick she stabbed the fish's eye with. It had a happy face and two long hands. She added three more stick figures besides the first one, connecting each other's hands, giving them happy faces as well.

"We never met him."

Her eyes mirrored her weakened words, burrowing her face to her knees. The smell of the room was damp and the billowing cold wind swelled outside the cave. If it weren't for the roaring of the wind outside their cave, he would have heard his sister's heart break a little.

"I met him." I told her softly.

She immediately lifted her dejected head and scooted nearer. She looked at me as if I had all the answers to her questions and urged me to tell her more.

"But I cannot remember anymore. I was but a baby." I wholeheartedly answered, my voice linger with dismay.

"Ohh." Was all she said. She retreated into silence, tucking her dark hair behind her ear.

"Mother rarely tells us about Father." She added.

This was true. There were only four things we knew about our father. First was that mother and father were long-time friends and that he insisted on going out with her, even just once. I can assume he was stubborn like my sister and as determined as well. Second was that he was the kindest person mother has ever known. His eyes were always full of compassion and life, like the forest itself. Next was his name and lastly, mother told us that father loved us with all his heart as he died protecting us. And that was all the information mother could share.

We continued to draw insubstantial sketches of the things we have seen and yearned to see on the ground. Mindlessly scribbling lines and doodles we can think of.

"I'm sure if father were to be alive, he'd look just like you brother." She chided, smiling half-heartedly.

"Perhaps… but he'll be, way livelier..." I replied in jest, with the hopes of attempting to lift her spirits up. "and more handsome!"

She sighed and laid her head against his shoulder. No words seemed to cheer her up and it pained him to see his sister get emotional over imagining a life they could have lived, a possibility they can never have.

"He'd be braver too, like his name."

"Yeah." she responded.

"Like his name." she repeated, writing father's name besides the first stick figure she drew.

" _Garfield_."

 **Thank you for reading! I will do my best to update every week or so. I am just sooooooo excited writing this idea that's been with me for like ages now. Reviews are deeply appreciated as well! Actually, reviews kinda keep me going, hehehe, fueling me up and telling me that I'm doing well with the story. Soooooo, please feel free to review :) :) :)**

 **This is not the final form of chapter 1, but I am an impatient human and I wanted to share this right away! So it may not be of the best version I want it to be, but I will be editing these later.**

 **With all my love,**

 **Rai.**


	2. Chapter 2

"It's getting late."

I could not remember a night mother was not inside the cave, meditating with her cloak and her hood on, fully emerged in the solace of the dark. Today, mother did not come with us to the river. She usually does so when we venture out through the ruins, making sure that we do not stray or linger too much around.

When we were young, we were allowed to scavenge the place for a short period but as we grew older, she completely banned us from the premise.

Mother doesn't know this, but brother has been slipping in and out of the ruins, bringing new objects and books he's found while scavenging the area. He puts all these articles by the foot of the mountain, behind a waterfall, before we come home to our cave.

Mother doesn't know a lot of things we have been doing, yet I think it is only fair to keep these secrets to ourselves as she keeps ten times more. What happened in the past, what happened to father, why we're all stuck in this dump. Selfish I know, but to restrict us from discovering to the unknown, leaving us in the dark , were far more selfish than not telling her we've been hoarding things and going to places without her knowing.

"Yes." My brother replied.

It's been three hours since we arrived home, but mother was still nowhere to be seen. The irony of her telling us to always come home before dark but she herself, cannot do so or, at least this time, was a funny thing to behold.

When she does not come with us in the mornings, she asks us about our day and where we've gone to when we come home. She knew about my tree house and so I tell her that I spend most of my time in there while brother always gets in trouble for finding it difficult to give an alibi or even lie in front of mother. She always seems to dissect the truth from the lies, and senses unspoken conflicts in my brother and sometimes in me, but she doesn't force herself anyway. Brother spends most of his time at the ruins, doing all cool and exciting stuff.

Today was no different, before we met by the river this afternoon, he spent most of his morning at the ruins. Scavenging maybe, reading for sure, exploring- absolutely, while I was left tending my tree house, nursing the plants. I wished I would have been with my brother instead, not that I was not happy in taking care of my treehouse, but lately I've just found my routine a little bit boring – _stagnant._.

"Should we look for her?" I asked, my eyebrows meeting due to anxiety.

"We cannot, even if we wanted to." My brother replied, rubbing his tired olive eyes and proceeded to fetch the comforters, laying them besides each other by the dying bonfire.

Brother always tries to mask his emotions whenever mother was present, but when there's only the two of us, he is less enigmatic and more expressive. He smiles more and talks a lot about his adventure at the ruins. My brother was the one who mostly understands me, or at least tried to and I to him as well. But we never talked about that one thing in particular and that has been entirely _my_ fault.

"Are we going sleep without Mother?"

"No." My brother replied rather calmly. "We're just going to rest by the fire."

He turned his back on me, his golden locks glimmered of orange and yellow as the fire coloured his blond head. He made his way to the mouth of the cave and covered the entrance with a wooden book shelf standing beside the doorway, leaving only a sliver of open space for the air to circulate. "It's getting colder and we can't make bigger fire if the wind keeps blowing it out."

I nodded and went to feed the dying bonfire more firewood but suddenly, brother stopped me further from doing so and held my hands as we watched the fire burn out.

"Okayyy…great…"I stated sarcastically. The room was in total darkness now and if my brother had not been holding me, I would have flipped out at him.

"Just wait."

He let go of my other hand as I assumed him pulling out something from his pocket. It clicked in his hand a few times, producing flickers of sparks. After a few more clicks, the object in my brother's hand came into life and it breathe, believe it or not, fire! Or so I thought at first before taking a closer look. The fire came out from a small rectangular match made of silver and the flame it produced looked so tiny, so faint and yet it felt so warm.

I looked at my brother in awe and was about to ask him something when he raised his other hand up, as to silence me and pulled another object from his pocket.

"Close your eyes." He said with excitement in his voice. "And give me your hand."

"That better not be a bug." I threatened, smiling as I obeyed his order.

"Like you're scared of bugs." He remarked teasingly.

He laid it on my open palm and asked me to guess what it was.

"Well, it's spiky that's for sure" I snickered. If the rolling of the eyes was audible, I would have heard his do.

"What else?"

I continued to feel it but nothing else came into my mind.

"It's just spiky." I said in defeat and sighed. He took it and ignited his thingamajig once more as the feeling of warmth of the fire returned, and a few moments, it was gone and he made me take the spiked object again.

"Open your eyes."

The phenomenon before my eyes almost took my breath away. The object in my hands glowed! And it glowed so beautifully; its mellow green light beamed brightly and radiated to my hands and face. It was star-shaped and small and was two dimensional but this object, this thing! It felt so magical. It felt so alive. It felt so vulnerable in my hands that I had the urge to protect it. It gave a strong sense of nostalgia for things and events I haven't even experienced. It made my stomach bubble and my excitement shot through the roof. It made me feel something new.

"What i-is this, brother?" I stuttered in total awe and admiration.

He but smiled and looked at it like it was a baby. "It is a star."

"A-a star?" I asked in disbelief. "A real star?! Like, like the ones from above the sky?! But that's not possible! Those stars are just balls of gases with extreme temperatures, dead! A gazillion miles from here!"

He shook his head, his lips curved into a small smile and chuckled. "Of course not. But long ago, people used to have the ability to make stars." My mouth was fully opened by now and looked between the star and my brother in wonder.

"What do they call it? How did they do it? Wait…a minute! where did you find this?!"

"At the ruins."

"Yeah, but where!?" I asked exasperated. The star was the only source of light inside the cave but my brother's unease face was hard to miss. He scratched the back of his neck and took the star from my hands.

"A place called…um, the planetarium." He sheepishly answered. His reaction immediately shifted from chagrin to excitement as he smiled widely at me, his eyes sparkled of adventure. "It is a magical place, Maarie! You should come with me next time!"

All I could do was stare at him, puzzled at his surprisingly versatile display of emotions. He was always excited whenever he shows me new stuffs he's found every time he ventures out in the ruins, but I've never seen him this happy- _too happy_ , actually.

The star's light started to weaken and brother hurriedly constructed a bonfire with the help of his silver fire-spewing gizmo.

After making the fire, he proceeded to sit down on his comforter all while becoming serious.

"Can I tell you something, Maarie?"

"Uh, sure…" I answered, actually unsure if I should as I went to sit down as well, tucking both my legs within each other.

He then closed our distance and looked at me in the eyes. "The place where I've found the star was called a building." He declared, amused by his own discovery.

"But I thought you said it was a plan-" I interjected but he cut me off.

"No, the planetarium was inside the building. Anyway, the planetarium was not the only interesting place I found there."

"Ohhh..kay…?"

His anticipation then poured more wildly and his smile was wide enough to circumference his head. "I found another library!" He exclaimed. "Only that the books were not mostly composed of pictures." He added, trying to mask the dismay in his voice. He continued to describe the books and the place while I listened to him- sulking.

" _Aaaand...?_ " Was all I could say as I grew impatient, pouting. I had a lot of questions to ask him but he was off babbling of his newly scavenges and new libraries.

Noticing my disinterest in his prate, he regained his composure. "But what I really wanted to tell you is that down below the building."

"Uh-huh…"

"I found a church."

"What's a churds?" I repeated, frowning.

He laughed a little, his pearly white teeth showing then smirked at me. "It's church, Maarie." He corrected me then continued. "Long time ago, people used to have different beliefs and principles that they adhered to their morality and values in life."

"They called it a 'religion' and people had tons of it! They attend their religion in churches and temples and they've praised and honoured the holy teachings and words of those who they call Gods. The Gods ruled over the world. Their words were air to Their worshippers and Their teachings were food for their worshippers' souls. They were immortals Maarie, untouchable. Their powers were immeasurable as much as their wisdom, or so what I've read."

"Okay…"

Then he continued once more. "They thought the Gods would bring them salvation in the afterlife and by abiding the Gods' rules would make them good people. Their ideals and visions were so similar yet also so different that it did not only divide the people and their lands from one another, it created wars as well."

"So? What's so interesting about it?"

He was about to say something, but hesitated after some sort of silent realization flashed through his eyes. He paused to re-evaluate and paraphrase his next sentence then shook his head in disregard.

"There were Gods who became heroes and heroes who became Gods."

He was silent again, thinking of something, on board to his train of thoughts.

"And sometimes..." He trailed off. He leaned back with his hands and exhaled above his head. His eyes swirled of intense emotions as he stared at the ceiling of the cave.

"Ehem. W-wow, brother! What kind of book did you read that from?" I exclaimed with the slightest hint of naught, breaking his depressing long pauses when storytelling. Longing for the stories he will only ever read to unfold.

All I got was another chuckle.

"I-I felt different, back there, Maarie." He but whispered. "I felt like I…was someone I should be. I was somewhere, I could be."

We sat in silence, waiting for each other's remarks - but none from both of the party came. The gravity of the air was unbearable and I know this is that one unspoken topic we've not discussed minutely or even, at all.

Feeling brother's deferred confession, I disclosed supporting details to lead the conversation further. "Like it empowered you somehow? Like it transported you to some fantasy? "

"Yes." He said stated with certainty, his voice stern.

"What was in there?" I asked in concern.

"I did not saw much, chairs, a big table in the altar, golden objects and coloured-stained glass windows."

"Uh-huh…"I nodded diligently, now eagerly listening to his story.

"But as I stepped inside the place, I felt like I…could do anything. Like I…could be anything." He trailed off and gazed off into the fire.

"Like you were untouchable? _Infinite?_ "

He did not answer, his eyes only watching the honeyed flames dance before him. But he didn't need to, for his face betrayed his words and gave me a confirmation. Before I could say anything else, his hand ran through his hair and looked at me, his excitement returning.

"Will you go there with me tomorrow?" His inviting voice dripped of anticipation.

Afraid to see brother's discouraged expression, I nodded in reply and offered a small smile. "Would not miss it for the world."

He mirrored a small smile and we sat in silence once more, only that the silence was comforting.

"Tonight..." He said in determination, his eyes were full of fervor. I was about to ask him what he meant when a knock was heard from the make-shift door.

Cautiously, we came towards the entrance and asked the person on the other side of the door who it was. The raging wind outside was calm now, and only the sound of life in the forest can be heard.

"It's me." A soft voice replied.

It was mother. Brother and I hurriedly moved the wooden shelf aside as we greeted mother warmly. Her hood was up and the foot of her cloak was stained with mud and wet leaves.

"Where have you been Mother? We've been worried sick." I told her, stressing out our worry. Her exhausted lilac eyes softened, apologetic and she hugged me so, apologizing for making us worry. Her gaze shifted to brother as he nodded in affirmation and pulled him into a hug as well. She lovingly stroked our heads and breathed out a sigh of relief.

My brother and I exchanged glances. Mother hasn't been this affectionate since…we were kids, and this sudden change in display of affection was rabid new, even for me, but not that I'm complaining. I hugged her tightly in return and burrowed my face to her hair. She smelt of earth and hydrangea flowers. A subtle and sweet but not overpowering aroma, with a delicate balance of smooth earthy scent, like the faint smell of the forest after the rain or the faintest scent of a burning sandalwood. A scent of comfort and serenity. A scent of home.

"Did you get home on time?" She asked anxiously and broke out from our hug. Brother and I nodded in unison and I attempted to hug her again but was only disappointed when she moved back and pulled out a small thick pocket book out from her bag. She gave it to brother and offered him a small smile.

He smiled at her gratefully and studied the hard-bound Latin book that looked to be older than the sequoias near the river. "Thank you mother."

Mother's attention then went to me and asked me about my day. All was back to normal again. She didn't pat my head lovingly anymore but instead pelted her routine questions to me. How was my day, where did I go, what did I do, did I found anything new and so on. After she interrogated me, she asked brother the same questions, her face more attentive and firm.

"Good." Was all she said as I watched her take off her cloak and placed it near the fire. Her dress was covered in soot and soil and her belt hang loosely against her curvy hips. Mother retained her beauty and figure though out the years. Her face did not age and her hair and body remained the same for as long I can remember. She was the epitome of grace and beauty, not that I'm solely basing this because I've not seen another woman except for myself but because she radiated of otherworldly beauty, nimbleness and finesse.

Brother brought another comforter near by the fire and offered it to mother. He looked down at her and nervously sat next to her.

"Mother…"

"Yes?" her voice relaxed and still.

"May I ask you a question?"

Her eyes twitched for a split second and then paused for a while to ponder.

"Depends."

Nervously, my brother then briefly looked at me, in affirmation. He looked like he was about to jump off a cliff and die a very slow death for asking something. Like a lover about to confess his love to someone he fully knows will reject it. He almost looked like he was about to ask Mother all the questions mother has been evading these years.

"I will be sixteen tomorrow, Mother." He started nervously.

Mother unfazed by brother teetering nerve, slowly stood up to strip off her gloves and walk towards the poorly lit part of the cave. "Yes, I know."

"And I would like to ask for something…"

Mother glanced at him, probably bewildered that brother was asking her for something. He never asked for anything before, not for himself at least. She only looked at him discreetly, stepping towards the fire precisely.

"What is it, Aarell?"

He paused then his next sentence then caught us all off guard. "I want you to tell us about the past, and this time I want the truth."

Mother didn't answer, she only stood there beside the fire pretending she didn't hear him say anything.

He moved in front of mother and released the old dam full of hot questions. "Will you tell us what happened to the ruins?"

Silence.

"Why are we the only people here?

Silence, but this time mother's mouth started to twitch. Visibly distressed.

"Why can't we go further and explore the continent?"

"Stop it."

"Where are the people Mother?

"Stop it-"

"The civilization? What happened before we were born? Why won't you tell us anything about the past!?"

"Stop it, Aarell!" Mother exclaimed. Brother's undeviating questions got to her deep and mother's full anger was tiptoeing on the surface. No trace of calmness can be found in Mother's face now, as she and brother stared off intensely; mother in anger while brother in determination.

"Where is this coming from? Have you been going to the ruins?" Mother seethed, her voice full of venom and betrayal.

"I-I won't tell you so."

"You did not need to! All the hellion that escaped from your mouth could only mean that you have been going to-!" She almost yelled but brother didn't back down that easily.

"I don't want to live my life not knowing anything about the past anymore!" He interjected. "I want to be free from it!"

"I have told you before-"

"You have told us nothing but lies, mother! Lies! To feed our curiosity you've told us what a toddler would believe, but we are past that age now! "

If a few seconds ago, they were onto their throats, now they were almost in for the kill. They were silent once more, reloading their rebuttals, their eyes still onto each other.

"I am your mother, and what I do and decide is what I think is for the best." She bit back, her words deadly and bitter. "I have brought you into this world and the least you could do is to follow my rules!"

"Then maybe you shouldn't have!" He exclaimed in anger. The birds in the forest flew up and away from our cave as the ground gently rocked us in considerably strong amount of shaking. They may have not noticed it though, for their rage were cavernous now. His welled up frustrations and anger madly poured out of him.

"I did not ask to be born into such conditions." He added, his voice now weak and gullible.

This was the first time brother showed mother any real genuine emotion ever since he was seven, and perhaps this will be the last time as well.

Mother's features momentarily softened and she looked like she was about to console brother- when it changed into disappointment and… fear? They fell silent once more as I was about to intervene, but it seems brother wasn't done just yet.

"Why are you so against the ruins?" he asked, his head low, his voice hoarse.

Mother followed Aarell's field of vision and replied. "I won't answer that."

This got Aarell even more fired up and rolled up his dice, feeling the prowess of his stance.

"Very well then, let's go to a more curious question. Do you believe there might be something out there that can put us in danger?"

Silence.

"Do you think there is some power in the ruins?

Silence.

"Do you think there are monsters in the ruins!?"

Silence.

"Do YOU believe in such powerful beings!?"

Silence.

"Have you met a hero before?"

Silence.

"What about Father? Can you tell us how he died?"

"Enough!" She yelled. She was beyond consoling now. Her body trembled in fury and her eyes almost glowed. Brother wasn't far behind mother, angry, frustrated and hurt as well.

"Why not tell us, Mother? What's so wrong about us knowing more about _our_ father? He practically yelled back, his hands in fists. "Is it because maybe you had something to do with his-"

Aarell couldn't finish that sentence, he couldn't even if he wanted to. The sound of mother's hand hitting Aarell's face resonated in greater folds within our walls as we all stood in shock of what just unfolded. She unconsciously raised her hand against brother for the first time and the amount of hurt and guilt in her eyes could not be measured. She eyes held so much regret as she moved in to him to apologize but he moved two steps back. She held her other arm steady and closed her eyes to focus on her breathing.

"How dare you…accuse me…of such crime?" she spoke after, her eyes were on the ground, her voice shaking and weak.

Aarell couldn't move from his position. He was beyond shocked of what just happened. His face still contorted sideways due to the hit. His mouth was half-way open and his blond hair curtained his eyes. The emotions he must be feeling.

We remained planted on the ground, no one dared to move.

I couldn't do anything to prevent it. I couldn't do anything to console them. I just couldn't do anything for this family, so I ran. I ran away from the situation and I ran away from them. I couldn't bear to look at them or to be in between the fight anymore, unable to do anything to kill the fire. I was never actually in any part of the argument, I just stood there, doing nothing, watching their brawl of emotions unfold in from of me. I will never be able to do anything for our family, for myself and I felt so small, so inconsequential against them, to them.

I ran faster, not knowing my destination. I don't know if mother or brother ran after me, or maybe didn't even notice my leaving as they continued to fight. As I ran faster, the road became more blurry; my eyes were filled with tears and my sense of direction went haywire. I was lost in the middle of the forest and honestly, I couldn't ask for anything else.

I wept for minutes, alone, in the cold. The full moon's light illuminated the forest and my sobs drowned the crickets' noise. I invaded their home and disrupted their solace, instead of feeling out of place, I felt more at home at the moment. The little critters of the forest then came one by one to my side- curious, surely, of my actions.

"I'm sorry, Mr. Rabbit. I'm sorry." While the rabbit hopped closer as I tried to pet it, tears still streaming down my face. I held Mr. Rabbit for a few more minutes while the other critters circled me, but this time no more tears were falling. I'm pretty sure Mr. Rabbit was dying to come back home to his family but I held him tighter, still apologizing for my intrusion. A few more minutes passed and my heart was almost at calm, I was about to let Mr. Rabbit go when he squirmed in my hands and frantically ran away, following all the critters that surrounded me moments ago. I was left alone. Or so I thought.

Someone else was in the forest.

I tried to run again, not really liking the idea that I'd have to face one or both of my family right now.

"Stop following me! I don't want to talk to any of you right now!" I yelled, running.

I ran and ran until I listened to the forest, there were no more footsteps besides mine and I breathe a sigh of relief. I was about to sit on the foot of a tree when I heard an unfamiliar voice coming from the top of the same tree.

"Hello, Maarie."

I jumped in shock and fear as the voice who pretty much sounded like a man spoke to me. He was looking at me with what looked to be endearing, like a kitten he's lost and found again. His eyes screamed of mystery and ambiguous. His black long hair was tied at the back and his clothes looked so different, so edgy.

"Who are you? H-How do you know my name?" I tried my best to stand at my best defensive pose, but even he thinks I look ridiculous.

"No need for hostility, Maarie, I am not here to hurt you." He announced, chuckling. His husky voice reverberating throughout the comforting silence of the forest.

"Answer me!"

He laughed at me and shook his head in disappointment.

"Are you always this rude to _family_?"

 **I've finally remembered my password to my other Fanfic account and instantly deleted the rubbish I've written there when I was still young and dumb and full of lovey dovey corny ideas haha! I would like to express my deepest apologies to Wonderryuta on insta coz I used her art as a cover without permission (I is sorry...) but am thankful as well because she's just too awesome for words and Raven in this art was how I accurately pictured her in my story.**

 **Thank y'all for visiting! R &R if you could (I BEG YOUUUUUU, hahaha)!**

 **With all my love,**

 **Rai.**


End file.
